My favourite hymn has always been Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus. My friend was leading worship and ended up choosing to sing this song on Sunday. The night before we sang it over and over (friend needed to learn the melody for the verse).
After that night, I couldn't sleep. I tried. I struggled. I was just so unsettled... I was up when daybreak started and the birdies started singing. Still I was awake for church and got myself ready, somehow knowing today was going to be tough. I loaded up my 15 dozen cookies for the soccer camp and headed off. The pastor saw me bring them into church and quickly snuck a snickerdoodle out of my MCC ice cream pail. I smiled but I somehow knew.
He started singing tis so sweet and I bit back salty tears. The pastor started speaking... a new series on the parables of Jesus - more of my favourite things. It was the 'ask-seek-knock' parable for the morning.
Again I knew. I cried. And cried. And cried. He mentioned so many things. One of my issues in particular. And the tears kept coming.
Don't get me wrong, my life is pretty great but still I find myself entering into the illogical realm of what-if's all too often. Trust is hard.
Today as I was driving to spend some time with 3 babies that I'll be looking after over summer and I feel like I got the simplest epiphany. And it is another piece to the 'all is grace' puzzle that the Lord has me putting together.
Oh for grace to trust Him more.
It's only by grace that I can trust in the first place. Or at all.
I can pray for more grace to trust.
A new thought [for me].
And along with that a new [tiny] seed of hope.
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